I don't think I've ever felt this lonely in my life. Always been a solitary person but as clichéd as it is, I feel alone when I'm surrounded by people.
I would be lying to myself if I said I was happy to be back here. I can't even say back home because it no longer feels like home...and I feel like the only reason anybody even wanted me back is because of what I can do for them, be their babysitter, secret keeper, the person who gets the awesome privilege of having to listen. It's like nobody missed me for me. Pathetic.
I have nothing to look forward to when I wake up in the morning, which is why I stay in bed for hours just staring at the ceiling. Again, pathetic :P
I know I have to make my own life, it's like David used to say, there are no boring parties, just boring people. So, yeah, I'm boring. Got nothing to be excited about. I look forward to January and Stockholm, and spring and Malmö...now what to do until then....
u.w.s.
Jude
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